Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 1

Not all of us require a violent life-threatening knock on the head to change our behavior. It only seems that way. 258

Answer 1

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 2

A trigger is any stimulus that reshapes our thoughts and actions. 266

Answer 2

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 3

Our environment is the most potent triggering mechanism in our lives—and not always for our benefit. We make plans, set goals, and stake our happiness on achieving these goals. But our environment constantly intervenes. 275

Answer 3

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 4

Fate is the hand of cards we’ve been dealt. Choice is how we play the hand. 282

Answer 4

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 5

The pain that comes with regret should be mandatory, not something to be shooed away like an annoying pet. When we make bad choices and fail ourselves or hurt the people we love, we should feel pain. That pain can be motivating and in the best sense, triggering—a reminder that maybe we messed up but we can do better. It’s one of the most powerful feelings guiding us to change. 322

Answer 5

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 6

Truth #1: Meaningful behavioral change is very hard to do. 345

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 7

three problems we face in introducing change into our lives. We can’t admit that we need to change—either because we’re unaware that a change is desirable, or, more likely, we’re aware but have reasoned our way into elaborate excuses that deny our need for change. 357

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 8

We do not appreciate inertia’s power over us. Given the choice, we prefer to do nothing—which 360

Answer 8

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 9

Inertia is the reason we never start the process of change. It takes extraordinary effort to stop doing something in our comfort zone (because it’s painless or familiar or mildly pleasurable) in order to start something difficult that will be good for us in the long run. 362

Answer 9

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 10

Truth #2: No one can make us change unless we truly want to change. 393

Answer 10

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 11

A man or woman who does not wholeheartedly commit to change will never change. 395

Answer 11

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 12

Some people say they want to change, but they don’t really mean it. 398

Answer 12

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 13

two-thirds of smokers who say they’d like to quit never even try. And of those who do try, nine out of ten fail. And of those who eventually quit—namely the most motivated and disciplined people—on average they fail six times before succeeding. 421

Answer 13

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 14

Everyone around you has to recognize that you’re changing. Relying on other people increases the degree of difficulty exponentially. 430

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 15

even when the individual and societal benefits of changing a specific behavior are indisputable, we are geniuses at inventing reasons to avoid change. 462

Answer 15

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 16

An excuse explains why we fell short of expectations after the fact. Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith to justify our inaction and then wish away the result. I call them belief triggers. 472

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 17

1. If I understand, I will do. 474

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 18

2. I have willpower and won’t give in to temptation. 485

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 19

3. Today is a special day. 496

Answer 19

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 20

4. “At least I’m better than…” 503

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 21

5. I shouldn’t need help and structure. 507

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 22

6. I won’t get tired and my enthusiasm will not fade. 518

Answer 22

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 23

7. I have all the time in the world. 524

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 24

8. I won’t get distracted and nothing unexpected will occur. 530

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 25

9. An epiphany will suddenly change my life. 546

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 26

10. My change will be permanent and I will never have to worry again. 551

Answer 26

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 27

11. My elimination of old problems will not bring on new problems. 564

Answer 27

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 28

12. My efforts will be fairly rewarded. 574

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 29

13. No one is paying attention to me. 583

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 30

14. If I change I am “inauthentic.” 587

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 31

15. I have the wisdom to assess my own behavior. 595

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 32

help you understand how to close the gap between the “ideal you” and the “real you.” 476

Answer 32

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 33

When we want to make an excuse for errant behavior, any day can be designated as a “special day.” 497

Answer 33

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 34

Dr. Atul Gawande reported in The Checklist Manifesto, central line infections in intensive care units virtually disappear when doctors follow a simple five-point checklist involving rote procedures 509

Answer 34

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 35

This is a natural response that combines three competing impulses: 1) our contempt for simplicity (only complexity is worthy of our attention); 2) our contempt for instruction and follow-up; and 3) our faith, however unfounded, that we can succeed all by ourselves. In combination these three trigger an unappealing exceptionalism in us. When we presume that we are better than people who need structure and guidance, we lack one of the most crucial ingredients for change: humility. 514

Answer 35

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 36

1) we chronically underestimate the time it takes to get anything done; 2) we believe that time is open-ended and sufficiently spacious for us to get to all our self-improvement goals eventually. 525

Answer 36

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 37

mathematical economics taught me about the high probability of low-probability events. We don’t plan for low-probability events because, by definition, any one of them is unlikely to occur. 534 yet the odds of at least one of these events occurring are high. 536

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 38

Even when we get there, we cannot stay there without commitment and discipline. We have to keep going to the gym—forever. 561

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 39

research shows that only two years after winning the lottery, the winners are not that much happier than they were before they collected their checks. 570

Answer 39

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 40

if the reward is the only motivator people revert to their old ways, 580

Answer 40

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 41

While our slow and steady improvement may not be as obvious to others as it is to us, when we revert to our previous behavior, people always notice. 585

Answer 41

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 42

There is an even larger reason that explains why we don’t make the changes we want to make—greater than the high quality of our excuses or our devotion to our belief triggers. It’s called the environment. 606

Answer 42

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 43

We think we are in sync with our environment, but actually it’s at war with us. We think we control our environment but in fact it controls us. We think our external environment is conspiring in our favor—that is, helping us—when actually it is taxing and draining us. It is not interested in what it can give us. It’s only interested in what it can take from us. 631

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 44

Our environment is a nonstop triggering mechanism whose impact on our behavior is too significant to be ignored. 637

Answer 44

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 45

I’ve learned how one tweak in the environment changes everything.* 662

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 46

The most pernicious environments are the ones that compel us to compromise our sense of right and wrong. 664

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 47

Our environment changes us even when we’re dealing one-on-one with people to whom we’d ordinarily show kindness. 673

Answer 47

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 48

Some environments are designed precisely to lure us into acting against our interest. 698

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 49

Dutch sleep researchers at Utrecht University call “bedtime procrastination.” 717

Answer 49

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 50

Our environment isn’t static. It alters throughout our day. It’s a moving target, easy to miss. 726

Answer 50

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 51

Every time we enter a new situation, with its mutating who-what-when-where-and-why specifics, we are surrendering ourselves to a new environment—and putting our goals, our plans, our behavioral integrity at risk. It’s a simple dynamic: a changing environment changes us. 732

Answer 51

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 52

can easily start believing they’re immune to the environment’s ill will. In a frenzy of delusion, they actually believe they control their environment, not the other way around. 754

Answer 52

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 53

If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us. 786

Answer 53

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 54

since learned that David Letterman lowered his Late Show studio temperature to a chilly 55 degrees before going onstage. He experimented with room temperatures in the 1980s and discovered that his jokes worked best at 55 degrees, which makes the sound crisper and the audience more alert. 789

Answer 54

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 55

Feedback—both the act of giving it and taking it—is our first step in becoming smarter, more mindful about the connection between our environment and our behavior. 807

Answer 55

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 56

A feedback loop comprises four stages: evidence, relevance, consequence, and action. 831

Answer 56

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 57

Drivers get data about their speed in real time (evidence). The information gets their attention because it’s coupled with the posted speed limit, indicating whether they’re obeying or breaking the law (relevance). Aware that they’re speeding, drivers fear getting a ticket or hurting someone (consequence). So they slow down (action). 832

Answer 57

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 58

our good behavior is not random. It’s logical. It follows a pattern. 846

Answer 58

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 59

What if we could control our environment so it triggered our most desired behavior—like 859

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 60

A behavioral trigger is any stimulus that impacts our behavior. 863

Answer 60

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 61

1. A behavioral trigger can be direct or indirect. 865

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 62

Direct triggers are stimuli that immediately and obviously impact behavior, with no intermediate steps between the triggering event and your response. You see a happy baby and smile. 866

Answer 62

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 63

Indirect triggers take a more circuitous route before influencing behavior. 868

Answer 63

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 64

2. A trigger can be internal or external. 870

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 65

External triggers come from the environment, bombarding our five senses as well as our minds. Internal triggers come from thoughts or feelings that are not connected with any outside stimulus. 871

Answer 65

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 66

3. A trigger can be conscious or unconscious. 876

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 67

Conscious triggers require awareness. You know why your finger recoils when you touch the hot plate. Unconscious triggers shape your behavior beyond your awareness. 876

Answer 67

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 68

4. A trigger can be anticipated or unexpected. We see anticipated triggers coming a mile away. 882

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 69

5. A trigger can be encouraging or discouraging. Encouraging triggers push us to maintain or expand what we are doing. They are reinforcing. 887

Answer 69

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 70

6. A trigger can be productive or counterproductive. This is the most important distinction. Productive triggers push us toward becoming the person we want to be. Counterproductive triggers pull us away. 892

Answer 70

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 71

what we want often lures us away from what we need. 908

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 72

Pain, of course, is the ultimate discouraging trigger: we immediately stop a behavior that hurts. 930

Answer 72

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 73

a trigger is a problem only if my response to it creates a problem. 969

Answer 73

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 74

The terms trigger and response suggest an uninterrupted A-to-B sequence with no breathing room for hesitation, reflection, and choice. Is that true? 980

Answer 74

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 75

known as ABC, for antecedent, behavior, and consequence. 984

Answer 75

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 76

The antecedent is the event that prompts the behavior. The behavior creates a consequence. 987

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 77

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg applied this ABC template to breaking and forming habits. Instead of antecedent, behavior, and consequence, he used the terms cue, routine, and reward to describe the three-part sequence known as a habit loop. Smoking cigarettes is a habit loop consisting of stress (cue), nicotine stimulation (routine), leading to temporary psychic well-being (reward). 992

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 78

Duhigg’s Golden Rule of Habit Change—keep the cue and reward, change the routine—but 996

Answer 78

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 79

first the impulse, then the awareness, then a choice 1024

Answer 79

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 80

Paradoxically, the big moments—packed with triggers, stress, raw emotions, high stakes, and thus high potential for disaster—are easy to handle. When successful people know it’s showtime, they prepare to put on a show. It’s the little moments that trigger some of our most outsized and unproductive responses: 1054

Answer 80

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 81

Paul Hersey. Paul’s most durable contribution to the field of organizational behavior was a concept he called “situational leadership.” He developed it with my friend and hero, Ken Blanchard. 1087

Answer 81

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 82

Hersey and Blanchard’s premise was that leaders need to adapt their style to fit the performance readiness of their followers. Readiness not only varies by person, it also varies by task. Followers have different levels of motivation and ability for different tasks. 1089

Answer 82

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 83

Hersey and Blanchard believed that leaders should • keep track of the shifting levels of “readiness” among their followers, • stay highly attuned to each situation, • acknowledge that situations change constantly, and • fine-tune their leadership style to fit the follower’s readiness. This was “situational leadership.” 1094

Answer 83

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 84

the relationship between leaders and their followers into four distinct styles: 1. Directing is for employees requiring a lot of specific guidance to complete the task. 1099

Answer 84

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 85

2. Coaching is for employees who need more than average guidance to complete the task, but with above-average amounts of two-way dialogue. 1103

Answer 85

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 86

3. Supporting is for employees with the skills to complete the task but who may lack the confidence to do it on their own. 1106

Answer 86

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 87

4. Delegating is for employees who score high on motivation, ability, and confidence. 1109

Answer 87

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 88

inside each of us are two separate personas. There’s the leader/planner/manager who plans to change his or her ways. And there’s the follower/doer/employee who must execute the plan. 1126

Answer 88

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 89

Whether you’re leading other people or leading the follower in you, the obstacles to achieving your goals are the same. You still have to deal with an environment that is more hostile than supportive. You still have to face other people who tempt you away from your objectives. You still have to factor in the high probability of low-probability events. And you still have to consider that as the day goes on and your energy level diminishes, your motivation and self-discipline will flag. 1143

Answer 89

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 90

The planner in us is delegating the job to the doer in us—and assuming it will get done. 1152

Answer 90

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 91

We make plans that are wholly contradicted by our previous actions. The planner who intends to make a deadline is also the myopic doer who forgets that he has never made a deadline in his life. The planner believes this time will be different. The doer extends the streak of missed deadlines. 1196

Answer 91

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 92

Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” 1221

Answer 92

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 93

As we wander through life, what punches us in the face repeatedly is our environment. 1222

Answer 93

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 94

Forecasting is what we must do after acknowledging the environment’s power over us. It comprises three interconnected stages: anticipation, avoidance, and adjustment. 1245

Answer 94

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 95

In the major moments of our lives, when the outcome really matters and failure is not an option, we are masters of anticipation. 1248

Answer 95

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 96

The problem is that the majority of our day consists of minor moments, when we’re not thinking about the environment or our behavior because we don’t associate the situation with any consequences. 1260

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 97

Peter Drucker famously said, “Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.” 1283

Answer 97

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 98

Quite often our smartest response to an environment is avoiding it. 1285

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 99

we rarely triumph over an environment that is enjoyable. We’d rather continue enjoying it than abandon or avoid it. 1292

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 100

It takes enormous willpower to stop doing something enjoyable. 1293

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 101

This impulse to always engage rather than selectively avoid is one reason I’m called in to coach executives on their behavior.*2 It’s one of the most common behavioral issues among leaders: succumbing to the temptation to exercise power when they would be better off showing restraint. 1302

Answer 101

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 102

To avoid undesirable behavior, avoid the environments where it is most likely to occur. 1335

Answer 102

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 103

there are many moments in life when avoidance is impossible. We have to engage, even if doing so terrifies us 1339

Answer 103

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 104

Adjustment, if we’re lucky, is the end product of forecasting—but only after we anticipate our environment’s impact and eliminate avoidance as an option. Adjustment doesn’t happen that often. 1341

Answer 104

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 105

Most of us continue our errant ways unchecked. We succeed despite, not because of, falling into the same behavioral traps again and again. Adjustment happens when we’re desperate to change, 1343

Answer 105

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 106

“dramatic narrative fallacy”—the notion that we have to spice up our day by accepting more, if not all, challenges, 1369

Answer 106

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 107

Golfers believe a boring round of golf is a great round of golf. 1373

Answer 107

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 108

there is no harder task for adults than changing our behavior. We are geniuses at coming up with reasons to avoid change. 1381

Answer 108

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 109

One of our greatest instances of denial involves our relationship with our environment. We willfully ignore how profoundly the environment influences our behavior. 1383

Answer 109

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 110

Creating represents the positive elements that we want to create in our future. • Preserving represents the positive elements that we want to keep in the future. • Eliminating represents the negative elements that we want to eliminate in the future. • Accepting represents the negative elements that we need to accept in the future. 1406

Answer 110

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 111

Successful leaders don’t behave inappropriately across the board (if they did, they’d be unemployed). But they often behave inappropriately in one or two areas, which colors people’s perceptions of everything else they do. 1435

Answer 111

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 112

“Tradition with a future,” she called her radical combination of preserving and creating, which inspired the organization with new purpose. 1452

Answer 112

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 113

A politician once told me, “The most thankless decision I make is the one that prevents something bad from happening, because I can never prove that I prevented something even worse.” Preserving is the same. We rarely get credit for not messing up a good thing. It’s a tactic that looks brilliant only in hindsight—and only to the individual doing the preserving. 1454

Answer 113

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 114

“What in my life is worth keeping?” 1457

Answer 114

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 115

preserving a valuable behavior means one less behavior we have to change. 1458

Answer 115

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 116

When someone tells me I’m “too good” my brain shifts into neutral—and I bask in the praise. But Hersey wasn’t done with me. “You’re not investing in your future,” he said. “You’re not researching and writing and coming up with new things to say. You can continue doing what you’re doing for a long time. But you’ll never become the person you want to be.” 1466

Answer 116

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 117

Peter Drucker’s words, I was “sacrificing the future on the altar of today.” 1470

Answer 117

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 118

Creating is innovating, taking risks on new ventures, creating new profit centers within the company. Preserving is not losing sight of your core business. Eliminating is shutting down or selling off the businesses that no longer fit. 1483

Answer 118

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 119

our natural impulse is to think wishfully (that is, favor the optimal, discount the negative) rather than realistically. 1495

Answer 119

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 120

We take in what we want to hear, but tune out the displeasing notes that we need to hear. 1497

Answer 120

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 121

our episodes of nonacceptance trigger more bad behavior than the fallout from our creating, preserving, and eliminating combined. 1512

Answer 121

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 122

Good things happen when we ask ourselves what we need to create, preserve, eliminate, and accept—a 1561

Answer 122

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 123

Apology is where behavioral change begins. 1590

Answer 123

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 124

Asking for help is a magic move. 1590

Answer 124

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 125

Optimism—not only feeling it inside but showing it on the outside—is a magic move. 1591

Answer 125

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 126

a fourth magic move: asking active questions. 1595

Answer 126

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 127

American company’s $10 billion investment in training programs to boost employee engagement. 1603

Answer 127

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 128

passive questions can be the natural enemy of taking personal responsibility and demonstrating accountability. They can give people the unearned permission to pass the buck to anyone and anything but themselves. 1620

Answer 128

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 129

(Gallup research in 2011 showed almost no improvement—with 71 percent of Americans saying that they are “disengaged” or “actively disengaged” in their work. 1647

Answer 129

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 130

The four levels of engagement:

Answer 130

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 131

• Committed: The proactively positive employees would examine the card as if they’d never seen it before, 1665

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Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 132

• Professional: Then there are the passively positive responses, 1672

Answer 132

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 133

• Cynical: The most common response I get is the passively negative tone of “That’s nice, sir.” 1674

Answer 133

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 134

• Hostile: At the bottom of the engagement barrel are the proactively negative types who dislike their jobs and can barely tolerate me. 1677

Answer 134

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 135

I was still holding the employer, not the employee, solely responsible for creating engaged workers. 1692

Answer 135

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 136

Did you do your best to be happy? 2. Did you do your best to find meaning? 3. Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people? 4. Did you do your best to be fully engaged? 1709

Answer 136

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 137

The results were amazingly consistent. The control group showed little change (as control groups are wont to do). The passive questions group reported positive improvement in all four areas. The active questions group doubled that improvement on every item! 1713

Answer 137

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 138

Here are the six Engaging Questions I settled on—and why. 1. Did I do my best to set clear goals today? 1726

Answer 138

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 139

2. Did I do my best to make progress toward my goals today? Teresa Amabile, in her scrupulous research and in The Progress Principle, has shown that employees who have a sense of “making progress” are more engaged than those who don’t. 1735

Answer 139

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 140

We don’t just need specific targets; we need to see ourselves nearing, not receding from, the target. 1737

Answer 140

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 141

3. Did I do my best to find meaning today? 1739

Answer 141

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 142

It’s up to us, not an outside agency like our company, to provide meaning. 1743

Answer 142

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 143

4. Did I do my best to be happy today? People still debate if happiness is a factor in employee engagement. I think that because happiness goes hand in hand with meaning, you need both. 1744

Answer 143

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 144

Daniel Gilbert shows in Stumbling on Happiness, we are lousy at predicting what will make us happy. We think our source of happiness is “out there” 1748

Answer 144

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 145

5. Did I do my best to build positive relationships today? The Gallup company asked employees, “Do you have a best friend at work?” and found the answers directly related to engagement. 1752

Answer 145

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 146

One of the best ways to “have a best friend” is to “be a best friend.” 1754

Answer 146

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Question 147

6. Did I do my best to be fully engaged today? This gets to the head-spinning core of the Engaging Questions: To increase our level of engagement, we must ask ourselves if we’re doing our best to be engaged. 1756

Answer 147

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 148

active self-questioning can trigger a new way of interacting with our world. 1771

Answer 148

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Question 149

• Did I do my best to be happy? • Did I do my best to find meaning? • Did I do my best to have a healthy diet? • Did I do my best to be a good husband? 1794

Answer 149

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 150

Adding the words “did I do my best” added the element of trying into the equation. It injected personal ownership and responsibility into my question-and-answer process. 1803

Answer 150

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Question 151

Here’s my current list of twenty-two “Did I do my best?” questions that I review every day: 1816

Answer 151

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Question 152

your Daily Questions should reflect your objectives. 1839

Answer 152

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Question 153

Injecting the phrase “Did I do my best to…” triggers trying. Trying not only changes our behavior but how we interpret and react to that behavior. 1851

Answer 153

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 154

“Within two weeks,” I announce, “half of you will give up and stop answering the Daily Questions.” 1870

Answer 154

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 155

Successful people show up with an arsenal of previous achievements that they can apply to new challenges. 1939

Answer 155

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 156

One of the unappreciated benefits of Daily Questions is that they force us to quantify an unfamiliar data point: our level of trying. 1963

Answer 156

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 157

The shorter the time gap between our planning and our doing, the greater the chance that we’ll remember our plan. 1968

Answer 157

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 158

We can always get better at something, even if it’s just preserving the progress we’ve made. 2015

Answer 158

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Question 159

This is where Daily Questions can be a game-changer. They create a more congenial environment for us to succeed at behavioral change, in several ways. 2021

Answer 159

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Question 160

1. Daily Questions - reinforce our commitment. Daily Questions are what behavioral economists refer to as a “commitment device.” The questions announce our intention to do something and, at the risk of private disappointment or public humiliation, they commit us to doing it. 2023

Answer 160

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Question 161

2. Daily Questions - ignite our motivation where we need it, not where we don’t. Generally speaking, we are guided by two kinds of motivation. Intrinsic motivation is wanting to do something for its own sake, because we enjoy it, 2041

Answer 161

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Question 162

Extrinsic motivation is doing something for external rewards such as other people’s approval or to avoid punishment. 2047

Answer 162

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Question 163

my public speaking would never come up as a Daily Question—because I don’t need to monitor my motivation as a speaker. In this area, I’m already maxed out. 2057

Answer 163

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 164

Daily Questions press us to face them, admit them, and write them down. 2059

Answer 164

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 165

3. Daily Questions - They highlight the difference between self-discipline and self-control. 2061

Answer 165

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Question 166

Self-discipline refers to achieving desirable behavior. Self-control refers to avoiding undesirable behavior. 2063

Answer 166

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Question 167

4. Daily Questions - They shrink our goals into manageable increments. 2074

Answer 167

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Question 168

we want to see results now, not later. We see the gap between the effort required today and the reward we’ll reap in an undetermined future—and lose our enthusiasm for change. We crave instant gratification and chafe at the prospect of prolonged trying. 2076

Answer 168

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Question 169

Daily Questions, by definition, compel us to take things one day at a time. 2078

Answer 169

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Question 170

Daily Questions remind us that: • Change doesn’t happen overnight. • Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out. • If we make the effort, we will get better. If we don’t, we won’t. 2082

Answer 170

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Question 171

The only essential element is that the scores are reported somehow—via direct phone contact, email, or a voice message—to someone every day. And that someone is the coach. 2098

Answer 171

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Question 172

At the highest level, a coach is a source of mediation, bridging the gap between the visionary Planner and short-sighted Doer in us. 2109

Answer 172

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 173

A Coach reminds us of the unreliable person we become after we make our plans. 2112

Answer 173

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Question 174

behavioral change—talking about it, writing books about it, helping others achieve it—is my life. And yet I have to pay a woman named Kate to call me every night to follow up on how I’m doing! This isn’t professional hypocrisy, as if I’m a chef who won’t eat his own cooking. It’s a public admission that I’m weak. We’re all weak. The process of change is hard enough without grabbing all the help we can get. 2146

Answer 174

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Question 175

three benefits of Daily Questions.

Answer 175

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Question 176

1. If we do it, we get better. 2188

Answer 176

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Question 177

2. We get better faster. 2192

Answer 177

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Question 178

3. Eventually we become our own Coach. 2201

Answer 178

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Question 179

the Farsighted Planner and Myopic Doer in us. Coaches can bridge that gap because they’re objective, not caught up in the environment that so often corrupts us. 2204

Answer 179

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Question 180

after the starving children of Mali, I knew I hadn’t earned the right to victimhood. 2238

Answer 180

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Question 181

repeat this mantra: “Never complain because the airplane is late. There are people in the world who have problems you cannot imagine. You are a lucky man.” 2240

Answer 181

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Question 182

you should be asking yourself whenever you must choose to either engage or “let it go.” Am I willing, at this time, to make the investment required to make a positive difference on this topic? 2255

Answer 182

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 183

AIWATT (it rhymes with “say what”). 2260

Answer 183

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Question 184

It’s Always an Empty Boat The Buddhist wisdom is contained in the Parable of the Empty Boat: A young farmer was covered with sweat as he paddled his boat up the river. He was going upstream to deliver his produce to the village. It was a hot day, and he wanted to make his delivery and get home before dark. As he looked ahead, he spied another vessel, heading rapidly downstream toward his boat. He rowed furiously to get out of the way, but it didn’t seem to help. He shouted, “Change direction! You are going to hit me!” To no avail. The vessel hit his boat with a violent thud. He cried out, “You idiot! How could you manage to hit my boat in the middle of this wide river?” As he glared into the boat, seeking out the individual responsible for the accident, he realized no one was there. He had been screaming at an empty boat that had broken free of its moorings and was floating downstream with the current. 2264

Answer 184

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 185

We behave more calmly when we learn that it’s an empty boat. With no available scapegoat, we can’t get upset. We make peace with the fact that our misfortune was the result of fate or bad luck. 2275

Answer 185

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Question 186

The moral: there’s never anyone in the other boat. We are always screaming at an empty vessel. 2277

Answer 186

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 187

“How much sleep is that person losing over you tonight?” I ask. “None.” “Who is being punished here? Who is doing the punishing?” I ask. 2290

Answer 187

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 188

getting mad at people for being who they are makes as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair. The chair cannot help but be a chair, and neither can most of the people we encounter. 2293

Answer 188

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 189

“false positives”—making statements to upgrade ourselves, often at the expense of others—and they appear in many forms: 2304

Answer 189

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Question 190

We’re trying to prove how smart we are to an empty boat! 2331

Answer 190

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Question 191

AIWATT is the delaying mechanism we should be deploying in the interval between trigger and behavior—after a trigger creates an impulse and before behavior we may regret. AIWATT creates a split-second delay 2334

Answer 191

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Question 192

Am I willing implies that we are exercising volition—taking responsibility—rather than surfing along the waves of inertia that otherwise rule our day. We are asking, “Do I really want to do this?” At this time reminds us that we’re operating in the present. Circumstances will differ later on, demanding a different response. The only issue is what we’re facing now. To make the investment required reminds us that responding to others is work, an expenditure of time, energy, and opportunity. And, like any investment, our resources are finite. We are asking, “Is this really the best use of my time?” To make a positive difference places the emphasis on the kinder, gentler side of our nature. It’s a reminder that we can help create a better us or a better world. If we’re not accomplishing one or the other, why are we getting involved? On this topic focuses us on the matter at hand. We can’t solve every problem. The time we spend on topics where we can’t make a positive difference is stolen from topics where we can. 2337

Answer 192

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 193

Confirmation bias—our tendency to favor information that confirms our opinions, whether it’s true or not—is an established psychological concept. It afflicts how we gather information (selectively), interpret it (prejudicially), and recall it (unreliably). 2394

Answer 193

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Question 194

when you cite demonstrable facts to counter another person’s belief, a phenomenon that researchers call “the backfire effect” takes over. Your brilliant marshaling of data not only fails to persuade the believer, it backfires and strengthens his or her belief. 2402

Answer 194

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 195

“Every decision in the world is made by the person who has the power to make the decision. Make peace with that.” 2411

Answer 195

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Question 196

Is this battle worth fighting? If your answer is no, put the decision behind you and plant your flag where you can make a positive difference. If your answer is yes, go for it. 2420

Answer 196

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 197

Business Plan Review (BPR) process that he has developed is the most effective use of organizational structure that I have ever observed. 2457

Answer 197

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Question 198

We do not get better without structure. 2459

Answer 198

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Question 199

one of structure’s major contributions to any change process. It limits our options so that we’re not thrown off course by externalities. 2504

Answer 199

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Question 200

Imposing structure on parts of our day is how we seize control of our otherwise unruly environment. 2507

Answer 200

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Question 201

We do not get better without structure, whether we’re targeting an organizational goal or a personal one. But it has to be structure that fits the situation and the personalities involved. 2531

Answer 201

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 202

The agenda for each meeting was a sheet of paper with the following questions: • Where are we going? • Where are you going? • What is going well? • Where can we improve? • How can I help you? • How can you help me? 2560

Answer 202

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 203

Structure not only increases our chance of success, it makes us more efficient at it. 2601

Answer 203

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Question 204

social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister coined the term ego depletion in the 1990s to describe this phenomenon. 2620

Answer 204

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Question 205

Like fuel in a gas tank, our self-control is finite and runs down with steady use. By the end of the day, we’re worn down and vulnerable to foolish choices. 2626

Answer 205

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 206

the more fatigued we get in handling subsequent decisions. Researchers call this decision fatigue, a state that leaves us with two courses of action: 1) we make careless choices or 2) we surrender to the status quo and do nothing. 2630

Answer 206

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 207

Israeli parole board. Researchers discovered that prisoners who appeared before the board early in the morning were granted parole 70 percent of the time while prisoners appearing late in the day were approved only 10 percent of the time. 2634

Answer 207

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 208

all the natural urges we try to rein in during the day have the potential to rush toward center stage as the day progresses and our depletion increases. It doesn’t mean they will materialize, but they’re lurking within us, waiting for the right trigger. 2658

Answer 208

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 209

Making big decisions late in the day is an obvious risk. 2678

Answer 209

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 210

Structure is how we overcome depletion. In an almost magical way, structure slows down how fast our discipline and self-control disappear. When we have structure, we don’t have to make as many choices; we just follow the plan. And the net result is we’re not being depleted as quickly. 2684

Answer 210

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Question 211

We need help when we’re least likely to get it. Our environment is loaded with surprises that trigger odd, unfamiliar responses from us. 2721

Answer 211

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 212

a simple structure that (a) anticipates that our environment will take a shot at us and (b) triggers a smart, productive response rather than foolish behavior. I suggest that simple structure is a variation on the Daily Questions, 2740

Answer 212

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Question 213

pretend that you are going to be tested at every meeting! 2766

Answer 213

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Question 214

Adapting Daily Questions into Hourly Questions creates a powerful structure for locating ourselves in the moment. 2787

Answer 214

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 215

The simpler the structure, the more likely we’ll stick with it. 2824

Answer 215

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Question 216

Pre-awareness. Successful people are generally good at anticipating environments where their best behavior is at risk. 2826

Answer 216

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Question 217

Commitment. Successful people aren’t wishy-washy about a course of action. 2831

Answer 217

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 218

Awareness. We’re most vulnerable to our environment’s whims when we ignore its impact on us. 2833

Answer 218

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 219

Scoring. Grading our performance adds reflection to mindfulness. It’s a force multiplier for awareness. 2836

Answer 219

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Question 220

Repetition. The best part of Hourly Questions is their rinse-and-repeat frequency. 2839

Answer 220

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Question 221

I won’t eat the wonderful dessert. Sometimes I make a pact with the person sitting next to me: neither of us will succumb to the temptation of dessert. Sometimes, like Odysseus putting wax in his sailors’ ears, I ask the waitstaff to ignore me if I attempt to order dessert. 2867

Answer 221

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Question 222

test myself hourly, and doing so reminds me that I am not an unconscious victim of my environment. 2872

Answer 222

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Question 223

The best we can hope for is a consistency in our effort—a 2881

Answer 223

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Question 224

For most things we suspend our hypercritical faculties and find satisfaction with the merely good. The economist Herbert Simon called this “satisficing”—our tendency to commodify everyday choices because chasing that last bit of improvement is not worth the time or effort. It will not significantly increase our happiness or satisfaction. 2892

Answer 224

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Question 225

four environments that trigger good enough behavior. 1. When our motivation is marginal. 2909

Answer 225

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Question 226

Skill is the beating heart of high motivation. The more skill we have for the task at hand, the easier it is to do a good job. The easier to do a good job, the more we enjoy it. The more we enjoy it, 2922

Answer 226

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 227

Marginal motivation produces a marginal outcome. 2945

Answer 227

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 228

We also underestimate how the quality of our goals affects our motivation. 2947

Answer 228

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 229

If your motivation for a task or goal is in any way compromised—because you lack the skill, or don’t take the task seriously, or think what you’ve done so far is good enough—don’t take it on. Find something else to show the world how much you care, not how little. 2955

Answer 229

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Question 230

2. When we’re working pro bono. 2958

Answer 230

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 231

We think that because we raised our hand to help out we can raise our hand to opt out at the inconvenient moments. 2972

Answer 231

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Question 232

Integrity is an all-or-nothing virtue (like being half pregnant, there’s no such thing as semi-integrity). 2974

Answer 232

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Question 233

Pro bono is an adjective, not an excuse. If you think doing folks a favor justifies doing less than your best, you’re not doing anyone any favors, including yourself. People forget your promise, remember your performance. 2980

Answer 233

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Question 234

3. When we behave like “amateurs”. 2985

Answer 234

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Question 235

Who among us hasn’t noticed how in our home environment we behave in ways we’d never tolerate in a work environment? 3003

Answer 235

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 236

A professional shoots for the highest standards. An amateur settles for good enough. 3010

Answer 236

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Question 237

We segregate the parts we’re good at from the parts we’re not—and treat our strengths as the real us. The weaknesses are an aberration; they belong to a stranger, someone we refuse to acknowledge as us. 3025

Answer 237

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 238

We are professionals at what we do, amateurs at what we want to become. 3028

Answer 238

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 239

I learned that if I change my behavior, I change the people around me. 3100

Answer 239

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 240

We can’t change until we know what to change. 3142

Answer 240

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 241

“Never wrestle with a pig—because you both get dirty but the pig loves it”). 3147

Answer 241

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Question 242

A speech, no matter how pointed or eloquently delivered, rarely triggers lasting change—not if we lack a compelling reason to change. 3169

Answer 242

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 243

We rarely blame ourselves for mistakes or bad choices when the environment is such a convenient fall guy. 3183

Answer 243

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Question 244

Honestly assessing the interplay in our lives between these two forces—the environment and ourselves—is how we become the person we want to be. 3185

Answer 244

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 245

The first objective is awareness—being awake to what’s going on around us. Few of us go through our day being more than fractionally aware. We turn off our brains when we travel or commute to work. Our minds wander in meetings. 3193

Answer 245

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Question 246

The second is engagement. We’re not only awake in our environment, we’re actively participating in it—and the people who matter to us recognize our engagement. 3196

Answer 246

Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts by Marshall Goldsmith

Question 247

When we lack awareness (in many cases because we are lost in what we’re doing or feeling), we are easily triggered. The gap from trigger to impulse to behavior is instantaneous. 3230

Answer 247

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Question 248

A trigger leads to an impulse, which leads directly to a behavior, which creates another trigger—and so on. 3231

Answer 248

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Question 249

think about one change, one triggering gesture, that you won’t regret later on. That’s the only criterion: you won’t feel sorry you did it. 3275

Answer 249

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