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Flashcards in Self-love Deck (43)
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1

What is the basic outline of this speech?

Greeting - hook - introspection - aha!

how we were ->

what changed? ->

how we are ->

disintegrating no? No. ->

parallels with heroes ->

your choice -> poem

2

What is the greeting?

Thank you Mr. Toastmaster. Good morning, fellow toastmasters and dear guests.

3

What is the hook?

I’ve been going through a rough patch in my relationship. My wife and I celebrated our 4th anniversary last month. We’d started off as love birds, couldn’t be separated from each other for the world. But now, we’ve become quite self-obsessed, and can’t even stand each other’s presence. While celebrating our anniversary 2 weeks ago, we got into a massive fight and actually decided to spend some time apart!

4

What is the outline of the hook?

Rough patch - 4th anniversary - how it started - how it's going - separated on anniversary

5

What. comes after the hook?

Introspection

6

What do you say for the introspection?

All this forced me to do some introspection. I started pouring over data online for why relationships go downhill, and after a lot of reading, ended up finding an article in the journal “European Psychologist.”

The authors Ruth Erol and Ulrich Orth had gone through ALL the studies on relationships over the last 6 decades, and found something that applied not only to marriages but also to friendships, _and_ your equation with your mortal enemies!

Let me come out and say it. Low self-esteem kills relationships.

7

What is the outline of the introspection?

poured over data - found article - authors, 6 decades! - universal - statement.

8

What are the 3 points you're making in the body?

How we were (villains) -> how we are -> parallels with heroes

9

What are the sub-points of "how we were"?

Inseparable (joker) - obsessive (voldemort) - jealous (loki)

10

What are the sub-points of "how we are"?

Separate friends - separate visible activities - separate invisible activities

11

What are the sub-points of "hero parallels"?

Harry had friends
Thor had courage
Batman was jacked

12

What do you say right after the introspection?

The joker part of the speech

13

What's the outline for the joker part of the speech?

wounded souls - specifics - comfort - everything together - dialogue

14

What is the exact content of the joker part of the speech?

My wife and I, when we met, were wounded souls. She was stuck in an abusive relationship, and I had been my parents' puppet my entire life. But when we met each other, we found comfort. We did EVERYTHING together. We started a business together, lived in the same room, had the same friends. We were completely inseparable.

You know what the Joker says to Batman? Kill you? What would I do _without_ you? You _complete_ me. That was us.

15

What's the outline for the voldemort part of the speech?

super jealous - emma stone fight - I watched it - obsessive voldemort - convinced - crafted Harry - she crafted me

16

What's the exact content for the voldemort part of the speech?

We were super jealous. This one time, we’d gone to watch a movie starring Emma Stone, my favourite actress. Halfway through the first part of the movie, my wife couldn't take it anymore. We had a major fight. She literally ripped her wedding ring out and flung it across the hallway! We left without watching the movie. (Between you and me, I watched the whole thing later at home 😉)

You know how obsessive Voldemort was with Harry Potter? He was convinced that Harry was going to kill him. No matter how ordinary Harry was. So instead of living his life and thinking of Harry as a harmless little average wizard, Voldemort kept trying to get to him. He KNEW that Harry was the one. And in the process, he _crafted_ Harry into the wizard who _would_ kill him. Just like my wife crafted me into the person who would watch that movie.

17

What is the outline for the Loki part of the speech?

he killed thor - i'm not thor

18

What is the exact content for the Loki part of the speech?

Loki literally killed Thor’s dad because of how jealous he was of Thor’s achievements. I didn’t want to be Thor.

19

What part of the speech comes after all the villains?

How we are

20

How do you transition from villains to how we are?

I keep telling you this was our relationship. So... what changed?

21

What's the outline of the "how we are" part of the speech?

Separate friends - separate visible activities - separate invisible activities

22

What is the content of the "separate friends" part of "how we are"?

These days, we almost have separate lives. I have my set of friends, and she has hers. Our friend groups barely intersect.

23

What's the outline of the "separate visible activities" part of "how we are"?

toastmaster - blog - pivot to writing, consulting - don't work together

24

What's the content of the "separate visible activities" part of "how we are"?

I am a toastmaster. She has been banging out blog after blog about parenting, and as a dentist, has performed a pivot, and is now a content writer and a business consultant. We don't work together anymore.

25

What's the outline of the "separate invisible activities" part of "how we are"?

fitness - boundaries

26

What's the content of the "separate invisible activities" part of "how we are"?

I’ve been thinking way more about my physical health and fitness, while she’s been much more adamant about setting boundaries and not doing things she doesn’t want to do.

27

What part of the speech comes after hook, introspection, villains and how we are?

Hero parallels

28

How do you transition from how we are to hero parallels?

All this sounds like our relationship’s disintegrating, doesn’t it? Different lives, different activities… Guess what? This is where my research blew my mind.

29

What's the outline of hero parallels?

Harry (friends) - Thor (courage) - Batman (fit, boundaries)

Us friends - us courage - us fitness, boundaries

30

What is the content of the Harry part of the speech?

What was the difference between Harry and Voldemort? Harry actually had a ton of great friends. Friends he cared about, and who cared about him. Friends with whom he would do all kinds of stupid stuff.