Flashcards in Ch8 Imporoving Interpersonal Relations with Constructive Self-Disclosure Deck (92)
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31
Increase the amount of feedback from others
- Solicit feedback from multiple people whose opinions you value
- Be open to criticism; it is often a gift aimed at helping you
- Value feedback from people who have observed your behavior in multiple contexts
Achieving Greater Awareness
32
Evaluations by people who have had opportunities to observe their performance: boss, peers, subordinates; sometimes customers/clients/patients
360-Degree Feedback
33
Usually anonymous and often provides valuable insights
360-Degree Feedback
34
Involves risk if not done correctly
360-Degree Feedback
35
Ideally should include summary report and plan for growth.
360-Degree Feedback
36
Information should be disclosed constructively
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
37
Often means changing attitudes and behaviors
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
38
Before disclosing, ask yourself:
- How much and how intimate?
- With whom?
- Under what conditions?
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
39
Appropriate Self-Disclosure: Many work relationships are unnecessarily strained because people refuse to talk about real or imagined problems.
Repair Damaged Relationships
40
Self-disclosure can repair damaged relationships through:
- The Art of Apologizing
- The Art of Forgiveness
Repair Damaged Relationships
41
If your actions have caused hurt feelings, anger, or deep-seated ill will, an apology is in order.
The Art of Apologizing
42
Apologizing is not an acknowledgement of weakness.
The Art of Apologizing
43
A sincere apology can have a tremendous amount of healing power for both the receiver and the giver.
The Art of Apologizing
44
Some apologies make things worse
The Art of Apologizing
45
An effective apology will communicate the three Rs: Regret, Responsibility, and Remedy.
The Art of Apologizing
46
Regret: Communicate the regret you feel sincerely.
- Even in cases where your intention was not to upset or hurt someone, the apology must come from your heart.
The Art of Apologizing
47
Responsibility: Do not make excuses or blame others. Accept total responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t say, “I’m sorry about what happened, but you shouldn’t have...”
The Art of Apologizing
48
Remedy: A meaningful apology should include a commitment to not repeat the behavior. It might also include an offer of restitution.
The Art of Apologizing
49
If a coworker, a friend, or a family member, offers a sincere apology, be quick to forgive.
The Art of Apologizing
50
Forgiveness is almost never easy, especially when you feel you have been wronged. But forgiveness is the only way to break the bonds of blame and bitterness.
The Art of Apologizing
51
Forgiveness provides healing and liberates your energy and your creativity.
The Art of Apologizing
52
Present Constructive Criticism with Care
- Constructive criticism is self-disclosure that helps another person look at their own behavior without getting defensive
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
53
Present Constructive Criticism with Care
Two effective methods:
- Avoid starting your message with “You,” such as “You didn’t complete your monthly inventory report.”
+ Use “I-statements.” “I am concerned that you have not completed your monthly inventory report.”
- Make a specific request for the future instead of pointing out something negative in the past
+ Instead of saying, “You did not have authorization to order office supplies,” try saying, “In the future, please obtain authorization before ordering office supplies.”
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
54
Discuss Disturbing Situations as They Happen
Share reactions to work-related problems as soon as possible after the incident.
- It is often difficult to recapture a feeling once it has passed, and you may distort the incident if you let too much time go by
- The person who erred is also likely to forget details about the situation.
- Clear the air as soon as possible so you can enjoy greater peace of mind.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
55
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Sharing feelings involves risk and courage
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
56
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- You are trusting the other person not to ridicule or embarrass you
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
57
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Emotions in the work setting are sometimes viewed as inappropriate, yet experiencing emotions is a part of being human.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
58
Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- People should not be expected to turn off their feelings the moment they arrive at work.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
59
Select the Right Time & Place
- What you say may be fine, but the when and where may be the problem.
Appropriate Self-Disclosure
60
