Ch8 Imporoving Interpersonal Relations with Constructive Self-Disclosure Flashcards Preview

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Flashcards in Ch8 Imporoving Interpersonal Relations with Constructive Self-Disclosure Deck (92)
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31

Increase the amount of feedback from others
- Solicit feedback from multiple people whose opinions you value
- Be open to criticism; it is often a gift aimed at helping you
- Value feedback from people who have observed your behavior in multiple contexts

Achieving Greater Awareness

32

Evaluations by people who have had opportunities to observe their performance: boss, peers, subordinates; sometimes customers/clients/patients

360-Degree Feedback

33

Usually anonymous and often provides valuable insights

360-Degree Feedback

34

Involves risk if not done correctly

360-Degree Feedback

35

Ideally should include summary report and plan for growth.

360-Degree Feedback

36

Information should be disclosed constructively

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

37

Often means changing attitudes and behaviors

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

38

Before disclosing, ask yourself:
- How much and how intimate?
- With whom?
- Under what conditions?

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

39

Appropriate Self-Disclosure: Many work relationships are unnecessarily strained because people refuse to talk about real or imagined problems.

Repair Damaged Relationships

40

Self-disclosure can repair damaged relationships through:
- The Art of Apologizing
- The Art of Forgiveness

Repair Damaged Relationships

41

If your actions have caused hurt feelings, anger, or deep-seated ill will, an apology is in order.

The Art of Apologizing

42

Apologizing is not an acknowledgement of weakness.

The Art of Apologizing

43

A sincere apology can have a tremendous amount of healing power for both the receiver and the giver.

The Art of Apologizing

44

Some apologies make things worse

The Art of Apologizing

45

An effective apology will communicate the three Rs: Regret, Responsibility, and Remedy.

The Art of Apologizing

46

Regret: Communicate the regret you feel sincerely.
- Even in cases where your intention was not to upset or hurt someone, the apology must come from your heart.

The Art of Apologizing

47

Responsibility: Do not make excuses or blame others. Accept total responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t say, “I’m sorry about what happened, but you shouldn’t have...”

The Art of Apologizing

48

Remedy: A meaningful apology should include a commitment to not repeat the behavior. It might also include an offer of restitution.

The Art of Apologizing

49

If a coworker, a friend, or a family member, offers a sincere apology, be quick to forgive.

The Art of Apologizing

50

Forgiveness is almost never easy, especially when you feel you have been wronged. But forgiveness is the only way to break the bonds of blame and bitterness.

The Art of Apologizing

51

Forgiveness provides healing and liberates your energy and your creativity.

The Art of Apologizing

52

Present Constructive Criticism with Care
- Constructive criticism is self-disclosure that helps another person look at their own behavior without getting defensive

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

53

Present Constructive Criticism with Care
Two effective methods:
- Avoid starting your message with “You,” such as “You didn’t complete your monthly inventory report.”
+ Use “I-statements.” “I am concerned that you have not completed your monthly inventory report.”
- Make a specific request for the future instead of pointing out something negative in the past
+ Instead of saying, “You did not have authorization to order office supplies,” try saying, “In the future, please obtain authorization before ordering office supplies.”

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

54

Discuss Disturbing Situations as They Happen
Share reactions to work-related problems as soon as possible after the incident.
- It is often difficult to recapture a feeling once it has passed, and you may distort the incident if you let too much time go by
- The person who erred is also likely to forget details about the situation.
- Clear the air as soon as possible so you can enjoy greater peace of mind.

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

55

Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Sharing feelings involves risk and courage

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

56

Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- You are trusting the other person not to ridicule or embarrass you

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

57

Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- Emotions in the work setting are sometimes viewed as inappropriate, yet experiencing emotions is a part of being human.

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

58

Accurately Describe Your Feelings & Emotions
- People should not be expected to turn off their feelings the moment they arrive at work.

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

59

Select the Right Time & Place
- What you say may be fine, but the when and where may be the problem.

Appropriate Self-Disclosure

60

Select the Right Time & Place
- Select a time when the other person will not be preoccupied and can give you their full attention.

Appropriate Self-Disclosure